The Square Life

As the first five minutes of 2009 gladly gave 2008 a nice solid round house kick to the face, I was less than thrilled. Most people seemed pretty happy to leave that year behind. I, on the other hand, sat staring into my Kristian Regale pear sparkler, wishing it contained a little more than 0 percent alcohol. I would be turning 27 this year. Which, in and of itself, isn’t such a bad number. It’s divisible by three, which makes it sort of cool. However, being 27 and unmarried in Provo was something I had spent the last half of ‘08 dreading.

Now, fast forward 30 days. I have had a lot of time to ponder on those lugubrious first-night feelings. What on earth is wrong with being a late-twenties single human being in Provo? Absolutely nothing. Despite what the local custom may dictate, there is no commandment in the predominant religion of the area stating that one must be married by 21. I promise. I have checked.

I had also always supposed that, upon approaching the late-twenties-unmarried realm, one would immediately begin sprouting all manner of mutant appendages: an extra eyeball, more girth about the proboscis region of one’s face, perhaps even a few extra fingers. Listen. If you are not married by the mid- to late-twenties, you are anything but a mutant. According to Wikipedia (which may or may not be tainted by Satan), the average American is married by around 26. And that is an average. That means there are plenty of people getting hitched on both sides of the spectrum.

To you people who have found your soul mates between the years of 18–23…good for you. I harbor no resentment toward your early retirement from single life. However, some of us are just not ready that quickly. My baby sister was snatched up at 20. For reasons I cannot quite comprehend, she was like an arrow, speeding toward the marriage target from the moment she was released from the high school bow. She was just ready. I, on the other hand, have been a little slower to aim myself in the direction of that target. I mean, I am headed in that direction…but I think I am more akin to the Nerf bow and arrow—inaccurate and weak—it’s going to take a few shots to get me there. And again, there is nothing wrong with that. You are ready when you are ready.

But what if you are ready, and you just aren’t finding a mate? Don’t fret. The odds are in your favor; if you want to get married, you most likely eventually will. Might it take a lot longer than you ever imagined? Sure. But focus on the good things about being single. Over the last few years, I have built friendships and had experiences that wouldn’t have likely been possible as a married human being. So often married couples are like a black hole; they just draw in on themselves and drop all interaction with pretty much everyone. Enjoy the single supernova. Get out there and create meaningful, lasting relationships.

Last summer I went to New York, San Diego, and San Francisco. I drove a motorcycle up the coast. I went mountain biking in Moab and Fruita, Colorado, and a plethora of other places. I dropped everything and went where I wanted. I spent my money until I was broke. I bought enough jeans to fashionably clothe Ethiopia. One can do that sort of thing when single. All of that changes with marital vows. There is certainly nothing wrong with marriage, but there are so many great things about being single. Don’t get depressed focusing on the unfortunate aspects of not being married; get caught up in the beauty of being able to do anything you want as a normal, single adult.